Wishlists and what-ifs

October 30, 2011

Today I finally registered for a marathon in Delhi . Ok, since I found out about it late and had no time to train for it, I will take part in a really small part of it. But I will be a part of it nonetheless. Now I see myself running the NYC marathon soon (but then again, I see a lot of things in my head. spooky.) The excitement got me straight to the park for a jogging session. The amazing weather our city is seeing these days made the trip all the more delightful.

As I was jogging and trying my best to keep my mind off how little stamina I actually have, I thought of all the things I have wanted to do. In college, a burst of enthusiasm got me to list many of them. As the years went by, more things were added to the list than subtracted. Running a marathon was one of the first five.Today I wondered what stopped me from actually doing said things. I wondered as I admired the pretty parrots on a tree. I wondered as the dog outside the fence was sniffing the ground. I wondered as I noticed the little drawing on the board next to the entrance. Then, just as I passed a couple of aunties gossiping, it struck me. 'Nothing is stopping me!'

I, like many, am a creature of habit. But like many, in my head I hope to do a whole lot. The result of this is that I have a big list of what -ifs and why-nots, and an embarrassing list of 'I did its'. What stops me is probably one of the key factors of what makes me 'human'. I make excuses for why I didn't learn an exotic dance, or haven't taken the time to paint the wooden patch in my room; but in the end I lose out on a whole lot of happiness. The joy I feel when I think of the marathon approaching is proof of just that.

What is the solution, you ask? Well even if you don't, I will tell you. There is no solution. Just as the guy who walks in front of me will always spit a few inches away from my shoe, and the auto wallah will always overcharge, the rest of us will live our lives, occasionally doing something we wanted to for a very long time, and otherwise doing what we always do. It may sound disheartening, but its our own choice.

I for one hope to get out of this routine that plagues me. And maybe I will. Here's hoping all of you do as well.

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